i need a guy with at least six inches in his underwear and at least seven figures in his bank account


when i die spray my ashes on versace’s latest fall line

(Source: valleyhurl, via supersweetest)


i think if i wasn’t so lazy i’d probably be sucking dick rn

  • teacher: so tell us a bit about yourself
  • me: hey hey hey hey put ya lighters up ganjas in the house eyowwww as you can tell from my accent i am from dallas tex-ASS and it was not very easy growing up lookin like this whether i was playing in my grandma's clothes or putting on a show for my well organised alphabetically ordered beanie babies i was g-g-g-gay okayyyy but it wasnt until i moved to los angeles that i discovered marijuana i mean i like to smoke yo i am just flying as high as your receding hairline okayyyy marijuana really does help me calm down so yall i went to valencia where they filmed the tv show weeds now yall its very dry its almost kinda like your vagina can i get a amen now yall i am a tree hugger because if it aint green HUH im not interested okaaaayyyyyyyy
Anonymous asked:
I jerk off to your selfies


i don’t even use my dildo that much sometimes i just stick it to the wall and rest my head against it

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